回憶是最可怕的敵人。

Whenever I see this video, I feeeel so so sad. But at least I can feel how much fans love him. ^^
Fighting, Park Jaebeom! Saranghae, I love you. *shy* LOL.

Hmmmmmmm, have been busy nowaday, but if you ask me busy with what. I don't know too.
Haha. Busy thinking abt my future, my goals and all sort of thinking. Should I quit poly and change to private school, local or oversea? In this way, I can get a degree after three years than a diploma. But giving up everything in poly? Will I regret it, I'm not so sure myself too.

Anyway went clique chalet and have lots of fun. Hehehe. ^^ I love them! Games, Jokes and Foods. Haha. Have lots of funnnnnnnnn. Having Oct Birthday Babies Birthday Celebration on 17Oct. Can't wait! (: Chloe, please improve on your skills kay. If not pair you up with another lousy one. ^^

Okay. Till here, I'll update soon.

XOXO,
Brenda.

It's all too late now.

Hey peeeeeeeeps. Here I am, back from somewhereeeeeee, actually nowhereeeeeeeeee. Hahah. Okay, I'm currently rotting at home. And because of that, I will start to reflect on my life. What I found out is this few points. Firstly, I do not have a goal in life. Secondly, I am not putting much effort in studies. Thirdly, I should forget all the unhappy thingsssss.
It had been one week one day since I know about that. At first, I was pretty sad about it at first but in the end, I thought through. What am I to him, to want him to wait for me till I'm ready for relationship? I'm nothing, I realised. He had moved on and I am still there, thinking that time will wait for me. It was not his fault, it was mine, I know. I didn't tell him the reasons because I do not have the courage to but now I don't even think there is a need for him to know. I felt the pain, really, now I know how much pain I caused him. The most I can do now is to let him go and wish him well...
Enough of thoseeeeee.


I'm awaiting for your return, Park Jaebeom.

I missssssssss 2pm, well since all their activities had stop, no more new videos of them. Sad, you knowwwwww. But it's okay, I can use the time to catch up on super junior. Hahah. I feeel sad for Jaebeom, he must be feeeling terrible inside. With all the fans boycotted 2pm, he must had feeel that it is his fault to cause all this unpleasant things to happen. As much as I hope Jaebeom to be back in 2pm, I don't think it is a right thing to boycotted the group. What about the other 6 memebers? They neeed lot of support now and we fans, should support them, I believe Jaebeom wants this too. Let give Jaebeom a rest, when he comes back as solo, support him! I'm waiting for your return, Park Jaebeom. It would be the best if you return to 2pm. (:

Lee Junho of 2pm ^^

Lee Junho is soooooooooooo cute, I want subs for DREAM. He is insideeeeeeee. Heheheeeee. I'm still like Jaebeom, but while he is resting in seattle, I will like Junho in the meantimeeeeee. Hahaha. ^^

Went out with clique few days ago. Hahaha. Have a fun day! It was Benjamin Birthday!
Photos taken belowwwwwwwww.








I lazy upload all the photos here. I uploaded at facebook alr. Hehehe.
Clique chalet is coming in 2 dayssssssss. I can't wait, my lovely friendssssss.
Okay, I'll post till hereeee.
Will be back sooooon. Goodnight.

Lovesssss,
Brenda.

How can Jaebeom leave too? ><

I love the 2pm with Jay, I'm sure.

I'm back after being missing so long. Don't blame me uh, I don't know what am I suppose to blog. I don't what am I suppose to say. What a sad day for me today. Today, I just know Jaebeom left 2pm just because of what the netizen say about him. I'm angry with the netizien for digging out about the past and comment on him but I'm disappointed of him giving up so fast. 2pm will not be the same without him as the leader. He must be so sad in seattle now. :( I am sad too. For the past few weeks, I thought with Jaebeom around, I wouldnt think about the rest but now he left too, it seem like one by one things are leaving me...


How sad. Yes, I choose to run away from things because I don't have the courage, really I do not have.


But I'm sure I will be fine. I will be.
I'm keeping everything deep down my heart, don't want to rake it up, don't want to hurt anyone.
Some things I just don't know how to say it out loud. :(
Till here, bye.

Loves,
Brenda.

I know I'm running away from it.

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high, yeah
It never would've worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you
Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone.

Awww, the lyrics made me feel so sad. :(
This few days, keep listening to this song.

Okay, today is the day I have waited for so long alr. No more papers! I'm so happy happy happy! Hahahahahahaha. I cannot use words to express the feeling of mine now. Hmmm, out of the five papers, I only have one paper that I am less confident which is the last paper, navigation safety. *sigh* Hopes I won't get 50 marks again for it. Hahaha. Now, is vacation! But I don't know what to do. Play, enjoy life or find jobs. Two options, but I am lazy lazy lazy but I'm broke broke broke. Hahaha. I'm so lame tonight, but although my mindset is hyper, my body feel like it is going to break down anytime, no matter how much I sleep, I still feel exhausted. Must be something wrong with the head of mine. Lol. Now, I'm catching up with my 1night2days, so funnnnny and I love Eun Jiwon and the mind of his, what he is thinking is so unique. *Laugh Out Loud*
I feel that I'm becoming so emotional. -.- I hope to meet up with my 2 girlfriends soon. I hope to meet up with my clique soon. I hope that polymates will overcome the problem and be like last time. (: Really hope people out there will be living their life to the fullest and not wasting them.
Okay, like I say, emotional. I can't stand myself so I am ending here alr.
Oh ya, Monday out with J and Eve. And J made something for me, so excitied and touched by it.
Goodnight, my loveable readers.

With lots of lovesssss,
Brenda.

I was hoping you will know.

Eun Jiwon - Adiós ♥

I'm so hooked on One Night Two Days! Wees. And this song was sang by one of the cast inside!
Hahahah. The one with specs. Cute uh.
Why Baby Why~
Lol. I'm suppose to study now. I sneaked out of studying world to come here to post! So I'm going back. Enjoy the video above!

XOXO,
Brenda.

No matter how hard I try, it wouldn't be the same anymore.

Love is Punishment- K.Will. (Shinning Inheritance)
Perhaps if I have never encountered you, it would have been the best
If I had need been living in another world
If I had need to become strangers in life
It will not have been left with this inflicting pain in my heart
Each day & each day forgetting you
Each day & each day abandoned you
In the midst of my heart deeply concealing something that I cant really openly shout about of my love
It seems all along I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heavens render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears
My mind I have already forgotten you
My speech I have already forgotten you
Occasionally drinking to drunken stupor
But afraid that I will utter my love for you
Really fear thatIt seems all along
I have always thought that love was bliss & happiness
Unable to beyond words that love is heavens render punishment
I just have to love you & my heart will shiver & tremble
This is just living by wiping off tears
Dream will I able to love you?
Crying & weeping to my sleep
Awake, each day return to that of the former
Love is to love you
When you arent around, stealing mutter to say i love you
Afraid that when you heard that, you will run away
Obscure silence inadvertently in loving you

♥Love the drama, the song lyrics and the video too.

I am studying like hell now. My head, eyes and heart are hurting like hell. I'm stressed, will I be able to make it, me myself is not very sure too. Hah. Shall just try my best.
This few days, I realised alot from things that had happened. You will just need to forgive, forget and move on with it. In life, there is no turning back so there is no use regretting too. My head telling me this but I do not know why my heart is hurting like mad. :(
I am just writing my feeling out since there is nothing I can do about it, so there is not a need to ask me what happened ya.
Till here, everyone.

Loves,
Brenda.

It wasn't easy for me too.

Omg. I love this picture!
Isn't Jaebeom hot? ^^

Hmmm, I am feeling rather bored, doing Accounting Project now so I'm here to post. Hahah. I didn't know is 4pm in the afternoon alr. Wow, time is passing so fast that I got no time to do other things. I want to go out but I'm stuck at home finishing up projects and studying for upcoming exams. *sigh* But I got totally no mood to do anything. I don't why tooooo. I can't wait for vacation to come. But I must buck up for my exams first before enjoying. That's how life is. This few days, feeling rather random but who will be there to listen to me? Everyone seem to have their own troubles and I don't want to add into them anymore. Hmmm, time table for exams are out, 17Aug will be the first paper which is ard less than 10 days before exams are coming. This time round, I got 5 papers to study, wish my luck! And worst of all, the time table is the same again, meaning I will be like having logistic and seamanship exams on the same day, meaning I will rmb logistic but cannot rmb for seamanship, then I will fail again! Shit, then must retake seamanship, then must jump jetty jump again. Oh no, I don't want that to happen. I will kill myself if that happens! No more youtube till after exams for me! I'm like controlling can, the fast few days, I only watch one of their video, the rest were spending on projects. I stayed back for the past few days for projects, and I must say I'm disappointed that most of them didn't even ask how are the project going on and so on. *sigh*
Anyway, I had changed my blog song to 不屑by黃鴻升(小鬼)! It is his new song, hehehe!
Part of the lyrics are here:
事情如果那麽簡單那就好了，
想讓自己不，
瞬間就通通消滅。
人類如果沒有心臟那就好了，
受傷不會流血，悲傷也不會流淚。
不需要有同類傳染頹廢，
不需要愚昧的尊嚴，
不需要去偷竊你的思念，
自我安慰。
就讓我僞裝我嘴角不屑，
讓孤獨乘以更孤獨的兩倍，
允許我保留我最後一點點特權，
赦免我想念你的心碎。
如果我眼神裏閃爍不屑，
可能我心裏一半已經殘廢。
那一半跟著你走遠了的那一天，
這一半漸漸地瓦解。。。
Till here, everyone.
Take care and study hard! Fighting!~

With lots of lovessssss,
Brenda.