Time wouldn't rewind.

Well, another christmas had passed. And new year is coming yet again.

Isn't everything happen so fast. This few months is a blast, being super busy, like so not me.

Finally spending a day at home, watching gossip girl and here, blogging.

So many things on my mind for this past week. Woah, had a hard time figuring out what was best.

But I got my answer, somehow or rather.

Tomorrow work again, 3 more months to go. Yay!

I am going back to gossip girl now. Heheh.

Miss love lots, xoxo.

I miss you, I really do.

I'm sorry :(

I'm having the feeling of you don't want me anymore after you telling me all that.

Felt that I'm just a trouble to you, hai. I didn't mean to complain.

I'm feel so sad that we are beginning to drift apart. You seem like a stranger to me.

Feel like going away far far away. As usual, I want to run away.

Hope it will get better, I don't know why but I'm looking forward to work tmr.

It will prevent me from thinking too much since I'm a super free girl.

Take care, people :\

I'm not as strong as you think.

It ends when either side decided to give up.

Nothing last forever, I know. But somehow, I hope what I'm feeling now will never change.

Are we strong enough to not to change?

I guess me and you wouldn't know the answer.

Life's fragile.

A second ago, you may be breathing. A minute later, you may not be breathing anymore.

You always hear people saying things like live your life to the fullest, this and that.

But how are we going to live to the fullest? How does it feels to live it to the fullest, I wondered.

Everybody is doing the same things, working hard to get into good school, working hard to get promoted, working hard to earn money, to earn the status/ title.

Does this count as living life to the fullest? I'm not really sure whether it is.

I need a break from work. It is breaking me apart.

Today, I answer my house intercom system like how I answer my company phone.

That is how work stuck to me every single day, so irritated.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh, short getaway this weekend.

I'm going to enjoy and relax this weekend.

But I miss baby boy so much too, I don't know how long will it continue, but apparently it seem like one year, we will meeting each other during the weekend only since when my itp ends, his itp starts and the best thing is it is also 6 months, ohmygod.

:( Are we strong enough to overcome? Or are we going to drift apart sooner or later like everybody else?

The best thing to do is not to think about it since I type it out here, I would not think.

Thinking kills sometime, you know.

Goodnight people, meeting the girls tmr!

Yay, so long so long since we met up! Heheheheheh.

I'm eighteen, finally.

看你傻笑着, 握住我的手,

梦希望没有尽头, 我们走到这就好,
因为我不想太快走完这幸福.

It had been so long since I updated my blog.

Lots and lots of things happened, and recently I just turned eighteen years old. I had a wonderful celebration, both with the girls, him and the clique.

It took me thinking about the difference between one year ago and one year later.

One year ago, I rmb I was in my misery world, thinking about why didn’t you rmb my birthday, why didn’t you wish me happy birthday. I knew you forgotten me at that instant, that got me super depressed for a moment until I met him.

I enjoyed my birthday with you a lot. I know you will be seeing this post as you are fan of my blog.

Thanks and ily, baby boy.

I hate itp, miss school. Can the six months just pass quickly? HAI. I'm so afraid to miss out things that I'm suppose to do, cannot afford to do any mistakes. Thus, make me super stressed.

Tonight, I felt so childish. I shouldn’t had tweet it and then you wont come back online just to make me feel happy. Haiiiii, in the end felt guilty. Sorry, :(

Sometime, I felt that I'm such a loser.

:( Although I felt that I'm just finding problems for myself.

In such a short time, I become so happy. So afraid that the happiness will be gone as fast as it comes.

The more I fall, the more I'm afraid. I don't want fear to overtake my brain.

But sometime, it just overtake.

Guess that's me, being stupid.

Goodnight, people.

Sleep the troubles away.

I hope the cargoes will get to Maersk Newton tonight smoothly if not I will be in trouble tmr!

I hope we wouldn't drift apart, seriously.

从前我太适应悲伤, 你的出现在无意中,
却深深撼动我., 一起走着没说什么,
心是满足的.

♥ Baby you're the best I ever had.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

WHY TMR MONDAY?

WHY WEEKEND CANNOT BE 5 DAYS? THEN WEEKDAY 2 DAYS?

TELL ME WHY.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK.

Okay, should stop this. No matter what, tmr still must go to work.

I'm starting to miss school a lot. I miss the three girls, miss the time we always play in class.

Endure it, another 25 more weeks and I'm done with.

I'm excited for tonight F1 race. Hope Sebastian Vettel will win first place tonight.

Wohooooooooooo, gooodbye!

If I let you go.

Don't want to regret about whatever decision I made.

But sadly, I always took the easy the way out.

Just that somebody to love.

Don't think about ending, it wouldn't end.

FINALLY I'M DONE WITH MY FIVE PAPERS!

No more studying for the next 6 months. Time to be dogs for the companies that we going to have internship with. I'm not really looking forward, sian ttm. MY HOLIDAY ALL GONE.

But I shall not think too much and enjoy my 2 weeks of break naow!

Tmr, weekend trip. Yay, meaning gain weight, meaning more spare tyre.

Omgzzz, come back then jian fei lahz, shall enjoy myself although I will miss that silly boy that I love to disturb, hehehehe.

I SHALL SLEEP NAOW, SUPER LONG TIME DON'T HAVE THOSE LONG GOOD SLEEP.

Goooooodnight, peopleeeeeeeee!

Is there something missing in us?

It's like catching the lightning the chances of finding someone like you.

It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do.

And with every step together, we just keep on getting better, better, better, better...

OH MY GOD, THE WEATHER IS MAKING ME FEEEEEEL LIKE DOING NOTHING AT ALL.

One more week to exam, panic mode.

I hope what I read will auto come out when I see the papers, pray hard.

I NEED TO GLUE MY ASS TO THE SEAT AND FINISH UP MY LAWS PROJECT.

Today, I am going to finish it, byeeeeeeeeeeeeee peeople.

What's the point of hanging on now when you know what will happen in the end?

Your words put me in a dilemma.

♥ 最幸福的事

我最幸福的事， 当过你的天使。

最幸福的事，吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势,

为挚爱的人在左边心口保留位置是，最幸福的事。

想得起的事，那天和你傻笑着认识是最幸福的事。

How if the one who make you stop crying suddenly being the one who make you cry?

I'm falling deeper and deeper for you.

It takes courage to love someone wholeheartedly.

Because you are afraid that that someone will give up suddenly.

And you will be back at square one.

IM STUDYING FOR STATS LAB TEST AND I TELL YOU IT SUCKS!

HAI. Hope I will get everything right soon.

SOMEHOW, I know I will get it right. Heheheheheh.

I should have thought of his feelings too. I'm always thinking about myself, how I'm afraid to get hurt.

I'm not going to be afraid, don't know say how many thousand times but yeah,

NOT GOING TO BE AFRAID.

Today, I came across some things that change my view of you. Now you made me feel like you are the petty person, just because of that, it can ruin our friendship. You words are fucking fake.

When I see that, I wasn't angry, I was disappointed in you.

To think that you are still my friend, when you freaking hate me that much.

I'm speechless, okay.

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE, XOXO

How long can happiness last?

LIFE’S GREAT, with him, the girls and the clique.

I’m trying to study hard in school.

I’m suppose to have study time naow, yet I got the blogging mood so shall post today!

I LOVE TO LIM KOPI WITH THE GIRLS, LAZING OUR AFTERNOON AWAY.

I think I passed the nua-ness to them. Oppps! But it’s relaxing this way okay. Talk about our troubles, our childhood, shooting one another and jokes in our own world. I really love it.

Oh yes, going out with clique is always full of laughter. But we are all too busy to meet up often which is kind of sad. I’m sure there will be many more meet up to go. Heheheheh.

Today went to have girls talk with debbielow. (: Although she damn guailan, but I love her for that! I had funnnnnnnnn, and also saying out things that I normally wouldn’t say. But raking up the past make me think again, oh man. I HATE IT. Whenever I thought about how much pain it caused me when you left me. I’m afraid to open up, really. I couldn’t believe the love between us can be so fragile. When you moved on a year ago, I was crushed, and my heart was locked up.

Because I didn’t have the courage to face it again. The pain after a heartbreak is too much to handle.

And now it is not an easy thing to open up again.

Sometime, I will think whether will you be sick and tired of waiting for my response. Sometime, I will think of letting you go to make it easier for you. Sometime, I will think if one day you were to do the same thing to me like him, will I survive?

Thinking too much isn’t healthy, but I still think a lot. SIGH, I hate myself for being like this too.  :(

I hope I didn’t see what I saw this afternoon, it make me think whether you had really let her go? Or you are just letting her go because you didn’t have any other choices.

HAI, Have a little faith in things, BEN-DA OUCH!

I HATE THE YOU NOW.

I'm done venting my thoughts here, I will come back soooon.

XOXO.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,

while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Sometime, the past become a barrier to the present.

HEHEHEH.

School had started, with the results coming back.

HAI, this is the result of not working hard.

I can only say that my result keep going down down down like mad, I'm going to start study real hard alr. No way my GPA is to go down, it is going to be up.

Before I met him, I always choose to love than to be loved.

And it always ended up with me having a broken heart.

After a few times of this experience, I choose to run away from relationships.

But he kind of made me change my mindset. The feeling of being loved can be wonderful too, but still, sometime you will worry that you will hurt him at the end of the day.

But running away isn't a solution. Everyone deserves a chance, I deserves a chance to find true love too.

I don't want to be like what my brother says,

he told me this " JIE, I think you 80 years old, the heart also won't open, TSK"  Hahahah, I will prove him wrong.

Finally, I can bring myself to post with some happiness feeling.

Heheheheee.

I feel like a retard nowadays!

And lightning don't strike the same place twice.

When you look back, you will see that we had missed out lots of chances and the worst thing is when you miss your chance, you will not be able to catch it back.

Yes, I'm back happier, but sometime my mind will go haywire.
Hahahah. Well, time will heal everything, I believe.

I'm enjoying swimming every now and then. Firstly, keep me in shape. Secondly, make me forget about everything and just swim. Lastly, my tanned skin (Y)

WHY CAN'T MY HEART BE OPEN, WHERE IS THE DAMN KEY.
I NEED TO FIND IT.
Im afraid of hurting you, so I stay a distance from you.
Im afraid to fall and get left behind again.
Im a coward, I know.

XOXO, nights.

I have tried to forget, get you out of my head but the memories won't fade.
I can run and hide from this feeling inside but the pain won't go away.

Your words put a smile on my face.

I'm waiting for you, here.

WILL BE GOING OFF FOR 4 DAYS, DON'T MISS ME BUT I WILL MISS YOU.

MUHAHAHA.

Zooooo trip was fun with them! Although I'm not feeling that well, damn it. But still enjoyed it.

THE SAD PART IS I BOUGHT MY POLAROID CAMERA WITHOUT TAKING ANY.

T_T

Hmmm, looking forward to picnic, sentosa and baking session when I'm backkkkkkkkkkk. And also project that needed to be finish up must be done by next week.

I will come back and start afresh, I promise,

XOXOXOXO.

Im leaving the past behind, once again.

It's getting better, with the support of my girls.

I appreciate their long and naggy messages, their patient toward me as I am a very stubborn person!

Thanks, GIRLS. I love you all, so cheesy! Hahah.

Hmmmm, exams are over, holiday came at last, time is passing so fast.

I can't catch up with it. When I got nothing to do, I will think of the future, what am I going to do when I'm out of poly? Pursue my degree which means oversea study? Or just with a diploma and just go and start working? And when I start to think about all this problem, I will feeel so frustrated. Daddy says it's normal to feeel lost and he also told me that he was like this when he is young. Hahah.

I shall decide later on, the thing to do now is to keep up my gpa but I think this sem, I will do badly for my papers!

SIGH, I must buck up already! :(

Tmr, will be zoo with the girls! I'm excited, to see the animals! It had been a year plus since I last went to the zooo, with Chloe and Yiwei. Hope it doesn't rain like the last time I went if not I will @#$#@!#$.

Then wednesday, I will be taking a breakkkkkk, from busy lifestyle and go into vacation mood.

Forget the saddness, and come back fresh, with no more pain.

I'm looking forward to the new me, are you all too?

:) But please don't miss me! I don't want to sneeze all the time there.

I'm not ready for anything, I know. I'm a coward, really.

Because of you.

Sometime, I wanted to move on.

Sometime, I felt that I can't, something is pulling me back.

I don't know what is pulling me back.

I know you are not coming back anymore.

So what's exactly is the problem?

I want to know too.

Love seem far away.

I'm stepping out of it, because im always friends with sorrow.

I think I have deserted my heart somewhere on the way, because I don't want feel the pain ever.

Stop coming back and think you can undone everything you had done.

I do not wish to hurt, really.

Omg! Five papers to study for, I really like dying manzxzx!

Tsk, I'm really going to start study after this post, really!

After the five papers, Im going to enjoy myself to the max, yay!

I can't wait for the holiday to comeeeeeeeeeee.

All this studying really tiring me out :(

I feel so old, I want to go out and play.

I shall end here.

BYE.

0 DOWN, 5 MORE TO GO.

I have got no courage to love.

我是喜欢你的，但你不会在乎吧。

I'm losing hopes, yes I am.

But it's okay, the lower the hope, the lesser the disappointment I will feel.

11:11 I made a wish just now!

I HATE THE NIGHT NOW.

I should be happy, I know.

Yet, I'm feeling rather miserable when the night arrive.

And I hate the me now.

Out of the blue, I thought of him today. I thought about how is he, is he doing fine and blah blah blah. I kept my feelings to myself, but deep down I know I do miss him.
But it is the past, I missed my chance, he had moved on and I had moved on too.

There is people asking me, why are you carrying a torch to someone you don't know?

This type of questions questioned me about my feelings for him. Is it something real, or because I just want to live in my own bloody world? It would make me think whether my feeling for him are unreal. Those questions really sucks. Do you really need to know that person well to fall for him? Do we needs reasons to fall for that particular person?

I always thought that there are no reasons in liking particular someone. I thought it was the first feeling you have for him. And when those feeling come, you will feel it instantly.

Maybe that is some bullshit fairytale theory.

:( I wish to know the answer too.

I am studying studying studying now.

And it's sucks.

I REALLY WANTED TO DO IT.

I feeeeeeel like shit today.

I got face problem today.

I cannot believe that it can affect me so much.

I feel that my effort had went down the drain.

I'm mentally tired.

Maybe, I should just give up.

Can you feeeeeel my heartbeat?

Today, I finally took all my courage up to speak to you.

And yay!

(: Smiling all the way homeeeeeeeeee.

I must be mad.

Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say.

The pieces of my heart is waiting for you.

It's been ages since I updated my blog. I'm freaking lazy and I do not have the mood to post anything.

But today I will be updating, yay, when I'm suppose to be doing my tutorials. I will do after this post, yeah.

Hmmm, lots of things happened, where should I start from, I do not know too.

Sometime, I can't help but to think life is not as simple as what I thought.

Why didn't I learn my lesson ever since the last time, not to fall for anyone that you don't know at all, it'll hurt only yourself, but still, I made this mistake, yet again.

I'm a stubborn girl, but I will stop falling deeper because up to now, it's seem that I'll be hurting myself yet again. I'm tired of loving one that wouldn't return my love, why am I always the unlucky one? Why am I always falling for the wrong person, I must be blind or what. :(

I'm sure I'm blind, hahah.

Side-tracked to youtube, damn it. I'm going to do my tutorial alr, hope so.

That's this song that are so meant for me now. My feelings, everything.

These Things I'll Never Say- Avril Lavigne

It don't do me any good, i't just a waste of time.

What use is it to you, what's on my mind.

If anin't coming out, we're not going anywhere.

So, why can't I just tell you that I care,

Because I'm feeling nervous, trying to be perfect.

Because I know you are worth it.

I will stop here, will update again soon.

(:

I'm smiling but the tears are falling.

It's funny how girls are able to express their feelings so readily to the person they like.

It funny how girls can get so crazy over a guy.

It's funny how girls can go so upset over a guy.

It's funny, really.

I couldn't figure out why too. Can anyone figure out?

SCHOOL IS BORING TTM.

I really hope to adapt to school life soooon.

I won't fall for you.

YES, I won't.

Stronger than yesterday (:

I HAD FUN THE PAST FEW DAYS.

Chalet with poly mates! I kinda miss them though now. Hahahah.

I got the feeling of wanting to go to school but also don't want to go to school because of the timing.

Timetable suck suck suck suck suck :(

4 out of 5 days 8am! How many lesson should I skip? AHHHHHHHH.

I will not skip morning classes x1000

Hahahah. I won't lah, I work harder and not slack like last term.

Time past so fast and I can't keep up to it. HAI~

Why am I going to do when I'm out of poly? Can the time just past slower? I'm like lost in a road junction.

Hopefully, I will know what to do soooon.

I'M SO GOING TO STUDY HARD. NO MORE SLACKING, BRENDA AU!

I'm so going to be strong.
When the clock strike 12 midnight on 13April2010.
I had decided to give up totally.

(: No more of this anymore. I had enough.
Once, twice, thrice. No more, I am not going to give my heart to anyone anymore.

等待一件很累的事，我也那么想了。

我应该这么做呢?

GET OVER IT, PLEASE.

It had become almost painful to think about you.

:(

There is once when you say that things that I like can change so easily. 

I hope I am this type of person. Then I wouldn't need to in this state already.

Sometime, I thought to myself. What if we can wind up the time and go back to the first day I saw you? Will the ending still be like this?

Hah. Useless thoughts. Nothing will ever be the same anymore.

I realised I cannot bring myself to smile at you anymore.

Exams are next week, I'm studying now. Going to finish Economics modules already. Yay, after next week, school ends! I can rest from everything. Hah. I'm tired, seriously.

Feelings that are kept deep down.

2AM.

Even if I die, I can't send you away.

JUNGJINWOON, JOKOWN, LEECHANGMIN, IMSEULONG.

♥

Please stop it, it's saddening.

What's up with those people that keep releasing fake rumor about Jay returning or not returning?

A bunch of pisser manxzx.

I miss Park Jaebeom so much.

Emptiness.

I'm still feeling the pain, which suck totally.

:(

I realised we are not like last time anymore.

I don't believe in it anymore.

This is my first post of the year!

Omg, so late. Didn't have the time and also don't have the mood.

Hahaha. EXCUSES, I know.

But seem like nobody come to my blog anyway.

It's okay, it's better this way because I don't post much.

Hmmm, school started for a few weeks alr, first exam coming in 2 weeks time but I have not start studying. So much things to study yet I'm still slacking like I have the power to control time.

Somehow, I lose my directions in life, I do not know where to go, what to do and I'm just feeling so empty. I do not know why I'm feeling like this. For that certain period of time, all thanks to the joys my family bring, I slowly walk out of the darkness. But at that time, my family really were there with me, encouraging me to move on and being in the family made me feel lucky, lucky to have them with me. I'm so thankful to have them.

I love my mummy, daddy, belinda baby and ben pisser. Without them, I really don't know I will be able to cope anot, seriously.

Hmmm, 2010 is a brand new year. A brand new start. Few wishes to start off with.

1. Me and my family and my friends healthy and happy.
2. Do not skip too much lesson in school.
3. Work hard for my second half of year one, GPA cannot drop.
4. Spend more time with my clique.
5. Have more oversea trips with my family. ^^
6. Learn driving this year!

Cannot think of anymore, and this year I'm going to be eighteen. So fast, eighteen years of my life had passed! And I still haven do anything that I'm proud of myself.
Feel so old too! Don't want to grow up!
Okay till here, I'll be back soon.
Take care, bye!